I got the third installment of my book feedback this evening.
More and more slowly I’m starting to feel the panic. I’m noticing more bad than good on these pages I receive from my editor (still, he is an awesome guy), it’s just me! I’m the problem. I’m the writer that created these issues and problems.
And now as I draw closer and closer to the revising stage (again) I’m freaking the hell out. What chapters are important, who should end up with who, where does the story actually begin, what is the main goal, am I moving to fast or slow, ect.
Writing a novel isn’t easy, no one ever said it would be. Somehow a few weeks ago I convinced myself to follow through and now I’m cautious at the thought of rejection (even though it is a must).
Don’t get me wrong, my feelings aren’t hurt or anything I’m genuinely just worried. Now I know my editor knows wtf he is talking about, and yet it still feels like blind faith sometimes.
Tbh, I never thought I was a good writer so I don’t even know why I thought I would be good at writing a novel. I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing and sometimes when I’m writing, I feel like so many aspects of my work has a “been there done that” feel, and I hate it. Or the fact that I have cliche conflicts smh kind if makes me feel like I lack imagination and i should throw in the towel. Smh
Nonetheless I’m restless with ideas and things to change and all I want to do is just get some sleep and pick things back up tomorrow.