Maybe I have had a change of heart.

When I reopened my book at the end of 2017 I thought I would be dead set on self publishing, but now I’m not so sure.

I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, and I am not afraid to admit that!

In my head marketing my book before it came out seemed like a good idea because it would get people excited about it and anxious to read it .

But guess what, I’m just military woman who works 9+ hour days working on airplanes to do my part for our country. That, I know. That is a definite.

Marketing a book, is a portal to mars where the aliens speak Russian with a mix of Chinese, it’s foreign to me.

I mean sure I can get my family and friends to read it, but that’s like twenty people. Thats not what I dreamed of. Thats far below the ceiling I’ve wish for.

Maybe that makes me greedy, maybe I’m a big liar and have even fooled myself into thinking that I only right for me, it’s something bigger.

Don’t get me wrong, i’d love to inspire more people write like Rowling did for me, but in the end I still write for me.

By that I mean writing helps me cope with depression, anxiety, ptsd. And let me clarify, ptsd isn’t just from traumatic battles, it just happens to be the most popular.

I write like many write, it helps me cope with life. I get to escape this world and visit the one in my head.

I want to share that story with whomever will listen, it just might save someone’s life.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. I could have written this exact same thing! I really have no clue what I should be doing. The whole reason I started my blog in 2015 is because I was also, dead set on self-publishing. But I also would love to be traditionally published as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And I’ve heard stories about self published authors getting discovered and asked to the dark side, but idk man it just doesn’t haooen.i like the freedom self publishing brings, BUT hate having to do it all myself

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think that’s the reason why I’ve been avoiding self-publishing. It’s such a huge step to take and not easy to do on your own. I wish I had a ‘team’ helping me like the traditional authors get. Oh well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah me too. Thing is idk what people would be on the team 😣

        Liked by 1 person

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