To those of you who have followed me over the past couple months know that this year I decided to take my writing more seriously.
Hire an editor, graphic designers, beta reader, the whole shebang.
Well like most people when they first start writing, I still have a full time job.
Now please don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me trying to play the “woah is me card ” but rather me being honest.
So in the past two months I’ve been trying to do everything alone, by that I mean handle it all on my own.
Don’t get me wrong, I hire people, but they are just there for those services, nothing else.
In the military you learn how to multi task, at least try to, and work under pressure.
Well these past couple weeks I have definitely cracked, and I am tired!
I read a post a few days ago about how your writing suffers when you multi task, and believe me it spoke so many wonders!
I’ve said it before but the biggest reason I began writing again was to help with my depression, but these past couple weeks might have made it worse.
I don’t want to do anything but sleep and eat .
which, I’m already fat enough as it is. I don’t need to get any more lazy. I have been putting so much pressure on myself with this book and everything that comes with it that I’m mentally shutting down.
I can’t think straight, my thoughts are blurry, I’m stressing over deadlines, content, revising, views, marketing, ect. And I’m just tired.
Not to mention I’m super hard on myself. I see people on here and fb groups who have written 3 books this year alone and they have full time jobs, kids, and spouses. I know we are supposed to compare ourselves to other people, but it happens. I’m human.
So then I get even more upset because I feel like I’m behind the curve because I’m not up to par with other writers, which makes things worse.
I end up having a panic attack, not leaving bed, and crying on IG live from how overwhelmed I am.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I have no idea what I am doing, but I feel like I’m failing.
Slowly I feel like my head is dipping beneath the water and I can’t pick it back up.
This post is mostly me venting, and for that, I’m sorry.
The purpose of this site was to show the ups AND downs as I write this book.
I just wish things were going better. My attention span is so horrible, getting me to sit at the computer and edit is getting harder and harder.
Most would say I should take a break, but I can’t.
This month I have so much to doin so little time.
I’m going on vacation for a week so I need to make sure I get serious writing done before hand as well as my first newsletter is ready to be released on the first of April.
So much to do so little time.
I wish I could do all of this without wanting to jump out a window, but right now, honestly I just want to quit.